My life: zipped, fastforwarded
This year, all eleven days of it, has been weird so far. Surreal (I'm using that word a lot lately, which demonstrates my point precisely).
On one hand, it doesn't seem like it can already be 2007. I have barely gotten used to 2006 yet. And it's already 2007. I am still writing "2006" in all my dates. And it is only with my banker glasses that I'm finally beginning to slightly have, that I manage to catch myself out before all these typos go into presentations and official documents.
On the other hand, it doesn't seem like it has only been eleven days. It seems like it has been much longer. The mood swings, the riot of emotions, thoughts, behavioral patterns, decisions, reversions that I have made, had, makes it seem much longer, and makes my life seem that much richer.
Or maybe it's the whole spirit of the season... not just of these eleven days, but which started mid, or arguably early December. Spirit of contemplation and change.
A good, if milder season of December partying. Then the quiet contemplative down time at the health farm, which I actually found far more enjoyable than I expected. Padding about in a bathrobe all day, sans make-up. Waking up late, having all meals prepared, swimming and exercising with the greatest convenience. A lovely mansion with large grounds.
Then a flight to Hong Kong and a very hectic time rushing around like a hamster on steroids. So much walking, lots of amazing food - from a swish dim sum restaurant with a view at the top of Victoria Peak (which cost just about the same or less than a London Chinatown dim sum place!), to queueing up to get a table at a very local 'hot pot' stall in Temple Street night market where I had salted fish with pork hot pot for HK$25 (HK$15=£1) - in a crowded, crazy place where everyone knows everyone. (I was actually relieved to be back in London - it felt so much more relaxing and leisurely compared to HK!)
And I was with two very different girls, with very different styles, and got to know them both better. Lots of talking, exchanging ideas, contemplating.
My first days back at work were terrible. I was completely depressed and glum. Barely spoke to anyone. I had retreated into my shell, little dreamy crab that I am. And it felt so much like was when I was young again, when I would deliberately walk a circular route just to avoid meeting people and having to talk to them. I was far happier in my own world than interacting with others (which is why I'm having some sympathy with autistic people now, especially post a conversation I had at Champneys).
I especially avoided looking or even talking to the boy. But it's weird because he began intruding into my space and moroseness. Which, still leaves me somewhat bemused (why? just leave me alone!). But I was cajoled by him and the French girl, and a couple of cracks appeared in my stoic, sombre facade (aided by the fact that I'd gotten over my PMS). And then a really funny forwarded email using "bullets" as an analogy for sex and went on in that vein, ending with advice to bite a sweet and experienced bullet, hit me. It cracked me wide open. It was crazy and cute and funny, and parts of it resonated with me and what's on my mind. And I couldn't stop smiling.
I'm trying to live my life a little bit differently this year. Doing my best to keep it real, and keep it sane at work. And I'm feeling actually quite positive about this year. I think this is going to be a year of change. I know I've kept feeling that and thinking that the past few years. And although things Have slowly evolved and changed, not always in ways that I notice until much later, when it hits me suddenly and I'm like: wow... when did that happen? But at the same time, the major things didn't really change. My attitude, philosophy had changed, but not my physical tangible reality. But this year will be different. I really feel good about it - life, love, situation. If nothing else, there's that cute Irish boy I met on the plane... ;)
And now I await with eager anticipation: how will I feel, be like next? What will tomorrow bring?
On one hand, it doesn't seem like it can already be 2007. I have barely gotten used to 2006 yet. And it's already 2007. I am still writing "2006" in all my dates. And it is only with my banker glasses that I'm finally beginning to slightly have, that I manage to catch myself out before all these typos go into presentations and official documents.
On the other hand, it doesn't seem like it has only been eleven days. It seems like it has been much longer. The mood swings, the riot of emotions, thoughts, behavioral patterns, decisions, reversions that I have made, had, makes it seem much longer, and makes my life seem that much richer.
Or maybe it's the whole spirit of the season... not just of these eleven days, but which started mid, or arguably early December. Spirit of contemplation and change.
A good, if milder season of December partying. Then the quiet contemplative down time at the health farm, which I actually found far more enjoyable than I expected. Padding about in a bathrobe all day, sans make-up. Waking up late, having all meals prepared, swimming and exercising with the greatest convenience. A lovely mansion with large grounds.
Then a flight to Hong Kong and a very hectic time rushing around like a hamster on steroids. So much walking, lots of amazing food - from a swish dim sum restaurant with a view at the top of Victoria Peak (which cost just about the same or less than a London Chinatown dim sum place!), to queueing up to get a table at a very local 'hot pot' stall in Temple Street night market where I had salted fish with pork hot pot for HK$25 (HK$15=£1) - in a crowded, crazy place where everyone knows everyone. (I was actually relieved to be back in London - it felt so much more relaxing and leisurely compared to HK!)
And I was with two very different girls, with very different styles, and got to know them both better. Lots of talking, exchanging ideas, contemplating.
My first days back at work were terrible. I was completely depressed and glum. Barely spoke to anyone. I had retreated into my shell, little dreamy crab that I am. And it felt so much like was when I was young again, when I would deliberately walk a circular route just to avoid meeting people and having to talk to them. I was far happier in my own world than interacting with others (which is why I'm having some sympathy with autistic people now, especially post a conversation I had at Champneys).
I especially avoided looking or even talking to the boy. But it's weird because he began intruding into my space and moroseness. Which, still leaves me somewhat bemused (why? just leave me alone!). But I was cajoled by him and the French girl, and a couple of cracks appeared in my stoic, sombre facade (aided by the fact that I'd gotten over my PMS). And then a really funny forwarded email using "bullets" as an analogy for sex and went on in that vein, ending with advice to bite a sweet and experienced bullet, hit me. It cracked me wide open. It was crazy and cute and funny, and parts of it resonated with me and what's on my mind. And I couldn't stop smiling.
I'm trying to live my life a little bit differently this year. Doing my best to keep it real, and keep it sane at work. And I'm feeling actually quite positive about this year. I think this is going to be a year of change. I know I've kept feeling that and thinking that the past few years. And although things Have slowly evolved and changed, not always in ways that I notice until much later, when it hits me suddenly and I'm like: wow... when did that happen? But at the same time, the major things didn't really change. My attitude, philosophy had changed, but not my physical tangible reality. But this year will be different. I really feel good about it - life, love, situation. If nothing else, there's that cute Irish boy I met on the plane... ;)
And now I await with eager anticipation: how will I feel, be like next? What will tomorrow bring?
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